shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.