Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic