is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.