You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?