Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
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In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.