yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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