someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
