watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
