Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize