I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
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Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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