Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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