I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls