bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?