Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
