Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell