I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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