I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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