Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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