You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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