her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
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that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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