My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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