ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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