STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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