Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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