dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
