this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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