All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
