that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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