I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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