Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10