i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.