She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.