The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in