Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.