there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
