what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
