Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
