That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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