How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
