It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
