I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
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I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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