My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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