I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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