I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize