it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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