So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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