I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
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New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.