i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.