remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.