Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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