i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even my vagina gasped.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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