When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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