This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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Did I show you my penis last night?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
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It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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