How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
last night I used snow as a chaser
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
