Yo dont text me then not text me
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
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She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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