The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
