Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(830): View more from Texas

I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen

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(646): View more from New York

he just put it in my mouth and said "go"

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(518): View more from New York

i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.

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(518): View more from New York

I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.

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(440): View more from Ohio

The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.

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(407): View more from Florida

After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year

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