I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize