The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize