The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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