He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize